Closer to Heaven
by Remedi
Summary: An EinxLedah drabble collection. o8. Stay : Ledah questions why Ein stays with him. After all, his condition doesn't exactly make him an ideal partner. Ein's reasoning isn't that complicated.
1. This Moment

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Riviera: The Promised Land or any of the characters. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. XD

---

"Farewell... Ein..."

I drop.

"Ledah!"

He catches me, cradles my bloody body in his arms. They're more muscular now than I ever remember them being. He brushes my lank bangs off my sweat sleek forehead. His eyes, so soft, so forgiving, meet mine and the warmth of his gaze thaws the ice that I'd trapped my heart in as payment for my Diviner. That wretched thing, so cold and hard in my hand...

I no longer need it. Ein is all I need. In his gentle embrace, here within Yggdrasil, I have finally found release. I relax my fingers and Lorelai falls for good.

How could I have been so stupid?

I stare up at Ein, his face clear even with my fading vision, that question desperate to be voiced. My mouth is too dry, my lips are cracked and flecked with blood and my voice is little more than the pitiful croak of one too weak to carry on. "Hn..."

Ein shushes me and holds me closer. I bury my face in his shirt. He smells of sweat and blood and violence and... oh gods, how I wish... how I wish I could have saved him, spared him from having to dirty his hands in this...

No. He was a child no longer. It was his will to fight for Riviera.

His will...

Unlike myself and Malice, he is strong. Ein follows his heart. I can feel the steady rhythm of it beating now, my head against his chest. There's an unfamiliar sting at the corner of my eye and I realize that I'm crying. My tears are silent, my tears are of relief and regret, of love and loss. This moment is so beautiful, and so unfair. We've finally been reunited, only to be separated forever within what I know too well can't possibly be longer than a few moments. Still, if his body and heartbeat are to be the last things I know before death, then I am satisfied.

I can literally feel my life withering away now and I reach up and touch the side of Ein's face before letting my arm fall limp. My eyes shut and I am very certain that I will never be able open them again.

"Ledaaaaah!"


	2. Come Back

This is written with the assumption that Ein and Ledah were close before Ledah got his Diviner.

**Disclaimer: **See first story.

* * *

Though the chiming clock in the hall insisted that it was midnight, Ein was still sitting awake. A single candle burned on the bedside table, keeping the room from total blackness with its dim illumation. An open book, neglected for the past half an hour now, was on the foot of the bed. Ein was too mentally preoccupied to focus on the story.

With a soft sigh, he glanced down at the sleeping face of Ledah, who was laying warm in his arms. Had the other angel been awake, he would have pulled away from Ein in an instant, possibly chided him in his usual seemingly impatient way.

_'Usual' way?_ Ein frowned, casting a glance at the large, jagged looking red spear propped up against the wall by Ledah's side of the bed. The Diviner, Lorelei. _He wasn't like that before..._

Ein absently fingered a strand of Ledah's blond hair. No, there had been something different about the black winged angel ever since he obtained Lorelei. He seemed so hollow now. His gaze was always impassive and his face never betrayed anything he didn't want known.

Ein's own Diviner, the lightning bolt shaped Einherjar, rested against the wall on the other side of the bed. His sacrifice had been his wings. Ledah had never told him what it was he'd had to give up, but whatever it had been, it was enough to numb his heart.

While Ledah normally had a certain degree of coldness about him, he'd never been quite this sober. With enough gentle prodding, Ein used to almost always be able to get him to open up.

Ein suddenly felt Ledah stir restlessly in his embrace. One dark crimson eye stared up at him, the other obscured by unkempt bangs.

"...Go to," Ledah yawned, "sleep." Surprisingly, he didn't try to pull away from Ein. On the contrary, the wingless angel concluded in a brief moment of self satisfaction, Ledah seemed quite comfortable right where he was. "We have an important mission tomorrow," he continued in a languid whisper. "We must get to Riviera. Since you will be travelling on foot, you need to be well rested."

Ein resisted the urge to brush Ledah's bangs back, away from his face. "I can't sleep."

Ledah stared pointedly at the flickering candle and mumbled something incoherent as sleep began to lure him back. Sheepishly, Ein leaned over and blew the candle out. The room immediately fell into blackness.

Ledah's breathing had evened out, soft and steady. Gingerly, not wanting to disturb him, Ein lowered his own head to the pillow, resting his chin against the top of Ledah's thick hair. He smiled wistfully into the still darkness as Ledah unconsciously snuggled closer.

_I wonder, Ledah. After this is all said and done... will you finally come back?_

* * *


	3. Define Miracle

This one's kind of AUish. Oh, and please, don't take it as anti-Fia. I actually like Fia a lot. :) So... yeah.

**Disclaimer: **See first story.

* * *

On days like this, so grey with rain threatening to fall at any moment, Ledah sometimes pondered how life now was better than serving Hector as a Grim Angel. Was this, the aftermath, quite as _miraculous_ as his recovery from the incident in Yggdrasil?

Lina was a masochist, going out to play in this gloom. She'd actually asked Ledah if he wanted to join her. He doubted he would have even if the sun were shining. The look he'd given her in response was obviously enough, because she'd shrugged and pranced out before he could voice his answer.

If only Fia would do something similar.

Ledah's distaste for the green haired fencer didn't stem from any fault of hers; it was just the way Ein looked at her, spoke to her, and held her hand that tended to irk the Grim Angel. Even when he was in another room, Ledah could still hear Fia and Ein talking, laughing...

He couldn't bring himself to think beyond that.

Back in Asgard, prior to surrendering his emotions in exchange for the Diviner Lorelei, Ledah had harboured feelings for Ein. The other had seemed too youthful and innocent back then to possibly understand, but as he heard Ein's voice address Fia from below, Ledah wondered if perhaps he'd underestimated the wingless angel. Either way, he regretted having not said anything sooner.

And now, he would never get that chance... because it was painfully clear that Ein had made up his mind. This silent, unintended rejection was something that had no remedy, nothing to ease the sting.

Ledah supposed the fact that he was a bit upset by this was a good sign; his ability to feel was steadily returning... another _miracle_. He had to wonder, though, was it really worth it when what he felt caused him pain?

* * *


	4. Paper Cut

**Disclaimer: **See first story.

* * *

"Damn!"

Ledah dropped the book he had been reading with a short curse hissed through clenched teeth. He instinctively brought his stinging index finger to his mouth. Bright crimson was seeping through a tiny slit at the side. The wound wasn't even an inch _long_, let alone deep, but that fact didn't stop it from hurting like hell.

It was truly amazing, Ledah thought, how something so small could cause so much pain.

"Ledah?"

The blond turned his head to see six year old Ein peering at him over the top of his own book. It was the sort with more pictures that words. On these chilly afternoons spent in the safe warmth of the library, Ein generally preferred it when Ledah read to him from 'the big books', but the older boy doubted he would be interested in the mundane history book, now spine up on the floor, that he was studying.

Ledah brought his hand down. "Don't worry, Ein. It's just a little paper cut." He showed the child is finger to confirm. Then, as if suddenly overcome with a sense of responsibility, he added, "And don't say what I just said. That's a..."

Ein gaped at him, clearly not paying attention to the lecture on language. "You're _bleeding_!" he exclaimed, wide eyed. In the child's mind, if there was blood present, the wound was automatically a whole new level of severe.

"It's all ri--" Before Ledah could get the calm reassurance out of his mouth, Ein leaned over the table and grabbed his hand. He examined the still sluggishly bleeding paper cut and then Ledah felt tiny lips, still sticky with strawberry jam from lunch, graze the minor injury for a second. Ein glanced up at Ledah with big, questioning eyes.

"Issat better?" he fretted.

Ledah looked down at his finger and smiled. "Much." Ein beamed and Ledah reached over to ruffle his young friend's soft, bluish-brown hair. "Thank you."

Ein scrambled down from his chair and picked up the book Ledah had dropped. He held it out. "Can you read to me?"

Ledah didn't know if he should; he still had studying to do...

"Pretty please?"

...but that could wait.

He took the book from Ein and set it on the table for now; he could always study more at home. In its place, he picked up the Ragnarok novel they'd been reading for the past couple of weeks.

"Of course."

Ledah got up and tucked the book under one arm and took Ein's hand, leading him to the cushioned 'Story Area' where they usually sat.

---

The black winged angel unearthed that old history book while cleaning eight years later.

Ledah glanced out the window, seeing Ein out with his new, and first, 'girlfriend'. As with a fair amount of fourteen year olds new to the dating game, the relationship consisted of more blushing and awkwardness than anything. It was still quite cute, nonetheless, and Ledah knew he would be ashamed if he tried to identify the reason his mood blackened at the sight.

He looked back down at the book in his hands and flipped through the pages, frowning as he noticed a tiny smear of brownish red near the top of one of the pages.

He smiled ruefully and gazed out the window again.

_Amazing indeed._

* * *


	5. Seek and Find

This one's AUish and rated 'T' for implications of sex, just to be on the safe side...

**Disclaimer: **See first story.

* * *

Ledah likes to be held.

I never would have thought him to be the cuddling type (I actually used to think he was untouchable) but here we are; tangled in the warmth of our bedsheets, our bodies wrapped together. The love we made was amazing, but I think Ledah's favourite part is the aftermath. He's asleep in my embrace, his breathing soft, rhythmic, and sweeter to my ears than any lullaby. I rest my chin on his hair, still damp with sweat, and smile as I start to drift off. I think, now that he has no duty to hide behind, now that his inability to feel is starting to splinter and crack, that maybe he just wants, _needs_ something secure.

Sometimes, I think he may even be afraid of himself; someone he hasn't been acquainted with in far too long. I was lucky enough to find friends and real purpose here in Riviera. In finding that, I found myself. I hope it will do the same for Ledah.

But for now, simply knowing that I can provide Ledah with that something secure he wants and needs so desperately... I think that's the best thing I could've ever found.

* * *


	6. Yellow Icing

AUish. This one was actually written back in, like, January or February and I never posted it because I thought it might seem kinda dumb. I unearthed it again today and decided that it wasn't _so _bad. It's... a little long to be drabble, but hey. It's the thought that counts, right:P

**Disclaimer: **See first story.

* * *

Dark red eyes squinted against the brightness on the other side of the window. It was a sunny winter morning and that, combined with the sparkling snow on the ground and windowsill, seemed too much for Ledah's recently opened eyes to take in.

With a bit of a groan, he flopped over onto his side and stared blearily at the clock on the wall. It was about ten, and Ledah wasn't surprised at all that the other side of the double bed was vacant. He guessed that it probably had been since at least eight. Ein had always been an early riser.

After taking several more minutes to fully come to, Ledah got up. The room was freezing, the floor like ice beneath his bare feet. He was wearing a loose, white long sleeved nightshirt that hung past his knees, as was the usual in Elendia sleepwear for males and females alike. With a small shiver, he stepped into Ein's fuzzy, navy blue slippers since they were right next to the bed and seemed quite inviting.

As he approached the top of the stairs, an almost sickeningly sweet aroma wafted toward him. Curiousity piquing, he hurried down into the kitchen to see Ein hovering over the oven. Two bowls were sitting on the nearest counter top, one empty and the other filled with bright yellow icing. Standing in the doorway, Ledah folded his arms, one amused eyebrow shooting up.

"...What are you doing?"

Ein nearly jumped a mile. "Ledah!" He turned around and regarded his lover with a warm smile. "I was wondering if you were ever going to get up." The younger angel started to walk toward Ledah, but his attention immediately returned to the oven at the insistence of the timer's incessant buzz. He retrieved the cookies and set the sheet on the counter next to the bowls. "I'm making cookies for Lina's birthday this afternoon." Ledah stepped into the kitchen where Ein was. The wingless angel landed a quick kiss on his cheek.

"When did you learn how to bake?" It wasn't that Ledah thought Ein was a disaster in the kitchen; while they were in Asgard, the culinary arts simply weren't given as much focus as they should have been.

"Fia taught me how," Ein replied, prying the freshly made cookies off the pan and placing them on the cooling rack. Ledah noticed that there was what looked to be a black scorch mark near the edge of the cookie sheet. Ein caught him looking at it. "Cierra taught me what _not_ to do."

"That would explain a lot..."

"Hey, could you help me frost these?" Ein offered Ledah a butter knife to spread the icing with.

Ledah accepted the utensil and the two angels went to work.

"I hope they turned out okay," Ein fretted as they were finishing up about ten minutes later.

Ledah put the final touches on the last cookie before answering. "As long as it's edible, Lina will like it."

"That's true." Ein lifted one of the cookies off the plate they'd put them on. He turned back to Ledah and pressed it against the black winged angel's closed lips. "But just to make sure..."

"It's too--" Ledah started to protest that it was too early to be eating sugary foods, but as soon as he'd opened his mouth, sweetness flooded in. Fia, he concluded as he swallowed, was an excellent teacher.

"So, what do you think?" The smile on Ein's face told the solitary angel that what an answer wasn't necessary; he already knew what Ledah thought.

"...Do I have icing on my face?" Formerly a priest before becoming a Grim Angel, Ledah preferred to keep as neat of an appearance as he could maintain.

"Actually, yeah, you do," Ein told him. He indicated his own mouth. "Right around here." Ledah's hand shot up, but Ein gently pushed it away with a playful grin. "I'll get it for you..."

---

"Hello? Ein? Have you--"

Fia, close friend of Ein and fencer extraordinaire, made her way to the kitchen and was immediately rendered speechless with surprise and embarassment. She hadn't been expecting to see two Grim Angels locked in a passionate kiss.

Ledah was pressed between the wall and Ein's body, with the wingless angel's arms wrapped around his waist. His nightshirt was riding up, unintentionally flaunting the smooth, porcelain skin of his thighs. One hand was tangled in Ein's blue-brown hair, the other hanging limp at his side.

That only lasted about a second after Fia's presence was realized. Ein whirled around, red faced. "Fia... we didn't hear you come in..." he dithered.

Ledah, his own face noticably scarlet, frantically tugged his nightshirt down. Maintaining his composure, he straightened his back, fluttered his wings to shake out any feathers that may have come loose and took a step away from the wall. Glancing from his flustered partner to Fia, he calmly gestured to the cookies. "Are these what you came for?" he asked smoothly, his cool demeanor cheapened by the flush that still ignited his face.

Fia nodded. Ledah reached over, picked the plate up and handed to her. The awkwardness of the situation had mostly defused by this point and Fia thanked Ledah before turning toward Ein. "You're coming to the party, right?"

"We wouldn't miss it for the world," Ein replied.

Maybe Ledah would if given the choice, since he wasn't much of a party goer, but Ein wasn't giving him the choice.

Leaving Ein and Fia to their conversation, Ledah went upstairs to get dressed. When he caught his reflection in the mirror, he frowned.

Much to his annoyance, there was still a small smear of yellow icing at the side of his mouth.

* * *


	7. The Centre of Everything

Another AUish one, exploring another side to the "Ledah survives Yggdrasill" scenario.

(See first story for disclaimer.)

* * *

The room is dim, lit by a single candle on the wooden stand in the corner. Ein has pulled a chair up and sits bedside, helpless to watch as Ledah withers.

_What happened in Yggdrasil hadn't been a miracle though, at the time, they had thought it one. _

Ein is holding Ledah's hand, gripping it tightly, trying to keep him from slipping away.

_Skadi came crashing down along with Ein's world as Ledah shielded him from a potentially fatal blow. He knew he would never be able to forget the wrenching within his chest as Ledah's bleeding body had crumpled in pain, fear in his eyes for once and his usually unreadable face twisted with unmistakable agony._

At least his breathing sounds stable now. Ein can't help but be positively terrified when Ledah wakes up fighting for air, his struggle voiced with frantic gasps. This is beginning to become an alarmingly common occurrence as Ledah's all too frequent sleeps grow deeper and deeper. Still, in spite of the stress, Ein remains by Ledah's side. It's _his_ turn to be there.

_Mercifully, Ledah was still able to speak. The echoes of his weak whispers, encouraging the younger angel to continue to fight for Riviera, were what kept Ein going all that time._

"Ledah?" Ein whispers. Half-closed carmine eyes shift, look up at Ein almost uncomprehendingly. Ein puts the cool palm of his hand to Ledah's forehead. Unsurprisingly, the Grim Angel is burning with fever. The dazed look on Ledah's face is heartbreaking. "You're going to be okay," Ein murmurs softly. It's _his_ turn to whisper words of encouragement.

_Ledah's sacrifice had been his emotions. About a month later, maybe a little more, seeming mostly recovered from the nightmare that had been Yggdrasil, Ledah's scars had been revealed. They were laying in bed, ready to put out the candle and go to sleep, when Ein noticed. He touched the most prominent one, wincing. "It looks," he paused, searching for the right word, "severe." Old scars didn't hurt. Not physically, anyway._

_Ledah smiled humourlessly. "In order to create Lorelei, to give up my emotions, my heart had to be..." He took Ein's hand and lightly guided it over the length of the scar, silently debating how to put it. "...tampered with."_

_Ein nodded slowly, silently, his mouth slightly agape. He wasn't surprised, not really. The scars on his back from when his wings were severed looked similar, as though the procedures used were similar for both of them. No, he was _concerned. _Wings were expendable. The heart, on the other hand, was the centre of everything. _

_Ein said nothing, but the widening of his cobalt eyes and look of pure distress behind them prompted Ledah to pull him close in a loose embrace. _

"Don't worry," he said reassuringly, smoothing the younger angel's hair back. "I've been living like this for a while now and even during some of the worst battles, it's never given me trouble. There is absolutely nothing to worry about." The uncertain quiver of his lips betrayed his otherwise calm demeanor. "Really."

During the time Ledah referred to, Hector was still around to ensure that everything went smoothly. Even with the traitorous Magus defeated, the weight of his deeds still effects Ledah, still effects Ein, would still effect Malice if she had survived and there is no one left alive who will be able to fix what he broke. Now, months later, Fia fears that without the power of the Magi to hold it together, Ledah's heart is deteriorating. Cierra agrees and Serene is informed of this, and told to keep Lina busy. They say they'll explain it to her after Ledah--Fia casts her solemn gaze to the floor--_passes_.

Ein shakes his head, insists that there will be no need to.

"Ledah will be all right. He's sick, but last night... I _know_ I saw some improvement," he says stubbornly. "Really."

It's _his _turn to lie to himself.

* * *


	8. Stay

Sappy AUish stuff like usual. Sorry if it's not up to snuff--I haven't written these guys in a while. Anyway, enjoy.

* * *

Ein's feelings were hurt and Ledah knew it. He was trying not to show it, but his acting was poor. He was wearing a sheer smile and Ledah could see right through it. It was so unfair. Ein always knew what to say to Ledah to make him smile, to bring him comfort, to show that he cared. Why couldn't Ledah do the same? His emotions were slowly stirring beneath Hector's seal, but how much longer would he have to wait to regain his empathy? He didn't mean to be so forward, so blunt, so _cold_. When Ledah sighed and apologized yet again, Ein had merely shrugged it off, insisting that he understood, but did he really?

Ledah stared across the table into the younger angel's face as he chattered on about his and Lina's latest adventures picking fruit in the forest. The hurt that had been prominent behind his smile just a moment ago appeared to have dissipated. Forgiveness came easily for Ein.

Instead, Ledah tried to focus on the stories Ein was telling. He knew they were supposed to be comedic, and was certain they were, but he still had a hard time feeling amusement. He was certain that, compared to most of Ein's other friends, he made for a poor conversation partner.

It wouldn't surprise him if Ein gave up on him one of these days. Ledah certainly wouldn't blame him. Why in the name of Asgard would Ein, bright and full of life, even want to be around someone as tainted and hollow as Ledah?

He wished he could just cast the blame on Hector—damn the Magi and move on—but he felt he was at least partially responsible for his condition. He'd just wanted to be a Grim Angel so badly. The consequences had seemed so unimportant back then.

The irony of it all was that he'd decided to undergo the Grim Angel trials _for_ Ein. Certainly Ein wasn't his only motivator; Ledah had always had a strong sense of justice. Ein was, however, the most important. Ledah had only wanted to protect him. Bitterly, he noticed how well that had turned out. They'd nearly become enemies during the fight for Riviera and now Ledah felt he was ruining his last chance at a relationship with Ein.

"Hey, Ledah."

Ledah looked up, Ein's voice interrupting his train of thought."Yes?"

"Is something wrong?" Ein tilted his head slightly. "You're spacing out."

"I was thinking."

"About what?" Ein's voice was light and there was a teasing grin on his face. Clearly, he was under the impression that Ledah's thoughts were less than pure. His expression soon sobered as Ledah closed his eyes and released a long sigh.

"What makes you stay with me?" Ledah queried, face impassive as ever. In spite of that, there was a faint edge to his voice that demanded an answer.

Ein frowned. That was out of the blue. "I love you," he said. "Isn't that enough of a reason?"

"This cannot be easy on you."

"I never expected it to be easy," Ein replied. He reached across the table and took Ledah's hand into his own. "In fact, I knew it wouldn't be... but I didn't care, and I still don't. I love you and that's all that matters. I know that you're not the same Ledah I knew, but you _will_ be. Hector's seal can't last forever." He smiled reassuringly. "Actually, I take the fact that you're concerned about this as a sign that you're improving."

Ledah looked at him, his lips curving upwards slightly.

"We'll get through this," Ein said, releasing Ledah's hand. "I promise."

"Thank you, Ein."

"Anyway, I was planning to go back to the forest with Lina. She found a tree that she claims has the best fruit she's ever tasted and she wants to show me." He stood up and extended his hand to Ledah. "You coming?"

Ledah accepted Ein's hand without hesitation. "I would like that."

As the two walked outside hand in hand, Ledah could have sworn he felt a small swell of happiness somewhere inside.

* * *


End file.
